Squirrel On A Log 

By John Kelly Ross, Jr. 

          In the early 1960s I was a member of Clinton's Troop 35 of the Boy Scouts.  Tony Harpole was our Scoutmaster, Jerrald Chandler our assistant Scoutmaster, Jan Harpole our chief scout (I have forgotten his real title), and David Sensing my patrol leader.   We would meet in the basement of the Methodist Church or at the National Guard armory where the Mission House is today. 

          We were not very good at being Scouts but we had fun! 

          In order to pass the requirements to become a First Class Scout I had to pass a swimming test.  I could not swim.  At all.  I could float.  Mostly head down with my feet in the air.  What to do? 

          My fearless Scout Patrol leader David decided to take me to the swimming pool here in Clinton and teach me to swim.  Well, well.  I kinda managed to float on my back and paddle a minute or so before slipping under the waves. 

          Mostly I just grabbed on to David.  Several times I nearly drowned the two of us.  David decided that was good enough and passed me! 

         David was also the guy who showed me by example how to put out a camp site cook fire when you don't have water or a shovel to cover it with dirt.  It was simple & basic & really a boy thing.  Just use a liquid natural by product of the human digestive system.   I don't think it would be a practical method for Girl Scouts ..... 

          I also remember parading down town in Paducah with several hundred Boy & Girl Scouts from the Purchase area.  It was because of the Four Rivers Council Scout-O-Rama that year.  Naturally we were the only Boy Scout troop in the parade to forget to bring from home our US & Scout flags.    

          The Scout-O-Rama that year was held in a huge tobacco barn in Paducah.  About sixty Boy & Girl Scout troops had booths with exhibits or programs.  I think Cub Scouts & Brownies had booths also.  There would be judges going around to rate the booths for decorations, themes, etc.  Some troops did science experiments, some illustrated woodcraft skills, and so forth.  Scout-O-Rama Booth Prize ribbons in blue, red, yellow, etc. would be awarded. 

          Our Troop 35 was going to have a science exhibit illustrating soil erosion from running water.  A bunch of dirt was placed on an inclined table.  Grass or gravel covered some of it.  The rest was left bare.  Water sprayed from a water hose was rained over the table for several hours to show the different effects of ground cover, or lack of it, on erosion, etc. 

          Well, it was a disaster.  We sort of forgot that the water had to go somewhere after eroding the ground.  The whole thing dissolved & collapsed a day before the Scout-O-Rama.  Just one big mud pie. 

          We arrived in Paducah with no booth display, no booth decorations or signs, no troop flags, no nothing!  Except for a stuffed squirrel sitting on a small log. 

          Why the stuffed squirrel?  Why not?  It was handy to be grabbed at the last minute.   After the parade we went to the tobacco barn Scout-O-Rama.  What to do about the booth?  Simple.  The stuffed squirrel was set on a bare table inside the bare booth.  A folding chair completed the display in all its glory.   

          One Scout was volunteered to spend the next three hours sitting on a chair in the bare booth explaining to puzzled passersby that, yes, this was a stuffed squirrel, and yes, this was the whole exhibit, and yes, it was dumb. 

          The judges just could not believe their eyes.  We got the lowest possible grade on the booth, of course.  I forget the color of the ribbon.  It might have been Fuchsia Pink. 

          Where were the rest of the Troop 35 Scouts while this one Scout was stuck in the booth?  While they were enjoying visiting the other booths, playing the games available at some of them, feasting at the concession stands, and flirting with the Girl Scouts?  Who was the poor slob stuck in that empty booth with that darn stuffed squirrel on a log for three hours?  Can you guess?  Can you?